Monday, April 4, 2011

Did HE really have to say No?

I bet you are like me…you don’t like to be told NO! I didn’t like it as a child and really don’t like it as a grown woman. But that is exactly what God told me. NO!

I knew it was coming. I could sense it but I didn’t want to hear it. I loved being in leadership with women’s ministry. To be honest I found my identity in it. Why would God tell me no?

I’ll tell you why. I no longer relied on HIM. I no longer found my identity in HIM. I had gotten into a comfortable place. I knew how to organize events to the last detail, how to coordinate Bible studies, how to research new things in ministry and do many other things a women’s leader did. I just got to self-reliant.

Not only did I depend on myself but I let myself get tangled in a web that led to bitterness and heartache. Instead of sharing this struggle with others and asking for someone to lend a hand to cut the web, I kept fighting until I was so entangled that I couldn’t move. You know much like Frodo did in the spider’s cave during the movie Lord of the Rings.

God knows me better than I know myself and said, “Now is time for you a NO season.”

I panicked and began telling really almost shouting at Him “NO!” But He was so gentle raising my eyes to Him and then repeated the words softly, “No”. Eventually I gave in and resigned. Now What?

First I was paralyzed. I felt I no longer existed or was sent back to stand along the wall like I did some much during my life.

But the Bible tells us that God’s Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. However, one thing it doesn’t tell us is how far ahead that light shines on the path for us. Oh I wanted to see what lay ahead but I couldn’t stretch my neck far enough. My kids laugh because I don’t like being outside in the dark alone. I will never venture outside of the reach of the light. Guess God knew that and knew I would run to far ahead and take things in my own hands if He shone the light very far ahead. Stormie Omartian has a book out “Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On”. Even though I have just recently found the book, the title alone speaks to me. For that is exactly what He was giving me so that I would rely on Him again. My “now what” was just to stand on that step on the path and trust He will shine just enough light for that day. I was to simply rely on Him to direct my path.

This new path has been scary yet exciting. Through it all He has supplied verses in the most unique order for me to memorize. I’ll share those alone the journey!

Until next time “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding,, In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Not stepping beyond His light,


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